What to do with that porn when you're done using it.

A male friend of mine admitted recently that he'd quit using porn. But, when he quit, he was a little stymied. He didn't want to just throw out his expensive and, in his opinion, high quality collection of porn.

I asked him what he did with it. He said, "I put it in a slot."

I said, "What?"

He said, "I put it in a slot. The DVD return slot at Dreaming Ant."

(long pause, during which I look at him sideways)

He said, "Of course I did this at one in the morning, because I didn't want them to know who gave them the porn."

A few days later I was visiting Crazy Mocha, the coffee shop that Dreaming Ant is attached to. I thought about my friend sneaking down Taylor street in the dark, looking over his shoulder, humming the theme to 'Mission Impossible' as he slipped his stash into the return slot one precious piece at a time. 

I asked the guy working at the Ant if he'd ever found porn in the return drop when he'd opened.

"Sure," he said. "I've come in to open the store and pulled the drawer open and, Woah, what's this?"

He went on. "Its awesome, because its pretty odd, some of it. Special stuff. Not stuff we research or try to buy really, but stuff that fits with what we rent. So its like these people did a ton of research for us and gave us the best stuff of their niche fetishes."

"Yeah," he says, "its too bad we don't know who to thank. I have my ideas, of course, but you never know."